sometimes I wonder why I was given this adventurous soul; I know the longings I have for the mountains and the seas aren't felt by everyone. why do I have such passion for the world without time or money to see it? why do the mountains call to ME? why am I the way that I am? why was I born into a society that's so unfit for people with desires like mine?
and I mean none of those questions in a negative way. honestly though--why is julia the way she is and what made her that way?
maybe that's a stupid question with an obvious answer, but asking it has been important for my "journey to authenticity". am I a result of the influence of people I've been around in my life, or am I the me that I was meant to be since day one?
I really believe the past two years of my life have been a process of knocking down the walls I put up when I was an insecure, awkward kid. as I've been slowly/quickly becoming an adult I feel like I can more easily identify those walls and knock them down (or chip away at them slowly). that's why I feel confident saying that hey, I think I get me. I know my needs and I know my desires. I know who I am and I know who I want to become.
figuring out who I really am has kind of been like bathing in a glacier-fed river. it's cold and a little uncomfortable, but I get all the dirt off and know that somewhere the old "me" will disappear over a waterfall, never to be seen again, and I'm left clean with only freedom to accompany me.
I like that feeling.
and I say all these things, yet I stink at being me because "me" has things about it that I don't want anyone to ever see. but I'm working on it, and I like where I'm slowly going.
"me" is also an adventurous soul who is meant to climb mountains (in life and in actuality) and swim in glacier-fed waters. like I said, I like where I'm slowly going.
also, special thank you to all those people who have been by my side. they are all understanding and kind, and the world would be a lot scarier without people like them.
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