My mentor, my courage, my evening

Words cannot express how much I appreciate and love my History/Literature/Debate Mentor, Ben Brown. He's been teaching me in at least one class every semester since I started high school in 2011, and there is no way I could ever count the smiles he's brought to my face, the epiphanies he's shoved into my brain, or the things he's taught me about character and leadership. He's played such a huge role in my life and education.

I went to his office on Friday, partially to get some help in Lit and Debate, but also to discuss something that's been weighing on my mind and driving me slightly crazy:

Vulnerability and Courage.

Being vulnerable is being your most authentic self; showing the world who you really are, weaknesses and all, despite any attack or disrespect you may receive. It's taking risks and chances, no matter what the world says. Vulnerability is being open to the criticism, being the "man in the arena" who may triumph or fall, but no matter what he does, he does daring greatly.

That is the purest form of courage. Vulnerability. And dang, I've been struggling with it, because dang, vulnerability is hard.

Mr. Brown and I talked about it, discussing the work of Brenè Brown (a vulnerability and shame researcher whose book and TED Talks Mr. Brown and I have both read and watched). It was like talking to a brother, and I walked away from that meeting feeling a little more courageous and a little more encouraged.

And so, with that motivation, I signed up for Oral Exams tonight. And now I'm having the worst "vulnerability hangover" ever. There's no going back and orals are scary. On top of it all, I feel terribly unprepared.

That brings us here, 12:03 a.m. on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, loading up on Brenè Brown hope: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html